Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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