Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
