Cold hands, warm shart.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize