pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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