so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Michael Bay diarrhea
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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