best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize