My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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