I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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