We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
