Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
