Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
