I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
