goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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