Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
