Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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