me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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