All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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