I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
