Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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