I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
dude. I can hear the air.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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