I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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