Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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