Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
