i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
