i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize