I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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