her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
