If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize