thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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