you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
