Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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