I just saw a hot homeless man
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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