Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
