Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize