Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
