there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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