Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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