remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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