i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize