tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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