Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
