gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You pole danced in your parka.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
