Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
