if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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