Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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