I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
