I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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