She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
