Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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