your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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