I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
