Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
