that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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