That's intense
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
