My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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