hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
