I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
