no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
