What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
