is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
