How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
