Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
