On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
