Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize