I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
